Millions of people across the UK are unpaid carers for a family member or friend. Jewish Care’s Family Carers Team are there to support family carers in the community. The theme for this year’s Carers Week (10-16th June) is ‘Putting Carers on the Map’ and it aims to highlight the increasing pressures carers face.
Lesley Wines, who manages our Family Carers Team, says, “The most important part of the Family Carers Team is that we listen – really listen – to the voice of the carer. We are the people who ask the carer how they are, and really care about the response, as very often it is the person they care for who is the focus of everyone’s concern. Of course, that person is important, but it is our role to ensure that the family carer does not get left behind, or taken for granted, when planning future care. Each client’s situation is different, as is the amount of time that we remain involved.
“Many carers find that it’s so helpful to speak to a total outsider to share feelings that they may find difficult to share with another family member or friends.
“Our team of dedicated workers have both personal experience as unpaid carers and professional experience of providing support to members of the community caring for family members, neighbours or friends. The Family Carers Team are here to listen but also to offer practical advice, provide emotional support, help navigate complex social care systems and signpost. We are non-judgemental and confidential and as well as providing one to one support, we facilitate various support groups where carers often find great benefit from peer support.”
In 2006, Sandra’s husband, Stephen z’l was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease but after he had a fall four years ago he needed more assistance. Sandra explained, “our lives remained relatively normal until this point, and taking on the role of carer was a daunting and overwhelming responsibility.
“Despite the challenges and often feeling overwhelmed, I found strength in the advice of my 108-year-old aunt, whose mantra was ‘positiveness’. This mindset helped me manage our new reality. Though Stephen’s abilities diminished, we continued to holiday with carers and enjoy family time, striving to maintain a semblance of normalcy.”
Sandra found it beneficial to talk to Wendy Stolerman from Jewish Care’s Family Carers Team who are there to support carers. Sandra explained, “Wendy was marvellous, she was lovely to talk to and understood everything about our situation. She’s been a carer herself, so she understood exactly how I was feeling. I really recommend talking to someone who understands what you’re going through as it can help so much to feel less alone.
“Sadly, Stephen suddenly passed away last December. It’s been extremely challenging learning to live without him but I try to stay as positive as I can. I’m learning to overcome the feelings of loneliness by going on trips, taking myself out for lunch, learning to play bridge, and becoming an active member in a book club and a fundraising committee. These activities keep my mind occupied.”
Mandy, whose mum, Maureen, recently celebrated her 95th birthday with her daughters and the care team at Jewish Care’s Stella and Harry Freedman House care home, part of the Betty and Asher Loftus Campus in Friern Barnet, shared her story, raising awareness of the challenges unpaid carers face each day.
Mandy says, “We didn’t realise how much my stepfather did for my mum until he sadly passed in 2016. He did everything until then, so it wasn’t clear to us how much help she needed.
“Mum’s mobility and memory worsened, and she soon couldn’t remember if she’d eaten that day when we asked her. She was diagnosed with vascular dementia over the phone in 2019. We live close by and organised for carers to be with her at home while we weren’t there, but frequent falls, especially in the middle of the night, and hospital visits made it unsustainable for us to look after her as well as she deserved to be.
“This was during the pandemic, and I have an autoimmune disease and am vulnerable, so we made the decision for mum to move to Rosetrees care home in 2020 and as her needs changed, she moved to Stella & Harry Freedman House care home, which also provides nursing care, and is on the same care campus.
“The decision for Mum to move to a care home was difficult, but I can honestly say it was a relief to know she was safe and cared for. The carers at the home are amazing and truly dedicated.
“From my family’s own experience, I would say don’t wait until you are facing a crisis situation – make sure to talk and get the support you need.”
Respite care could be helpful to unpaid family carers of people who are living with dementia. The high-quality respite care at Jewish Care’s Otto Schiff residential care home, for people living with dementia could allow for a much-needed break from caring.
“Taking a break to have some relief from the responsibility of caring can allow you to catch up on your personal life, on lost sleep and recharge to bring back a positive outlook,” says Kemi Ariba, Jewish Care Registered Care Home Manager at Otto Schiff care home. “It provides the opportunity to spend time with family and friends, and many people tell us it makes it possible to spend invaluable time with grandchildren who are living abroad.”
Kemi continues, “At the same time you will know that your relative will benefit from a respite stay at our Otto Schiff care home offers a stimulating, friendly and sociable Jewish environment with specialist dementia care. Our ethos is to ensure that residents lead meaningful lives and stay as active, engaged and independent as possible, while being supported by expert caring staff.”
At least four weeks is an ideal length of time for respite stays, to give a chance to settle in. There are spacious ensuite bedrooms and a communal kitchen serving delicious, kosher meals with many wide-ranging stimulating activities on offer to suit a variety of interests for residents.
The care team will provide a full assessment to see if a person is suitable for respite care and, if so, and if vacancies allow, Jewish Care will offer tailored person-centred care to suit individual needs. Some local authorities will offer a carer’s assessment with vouchers towards the stay, though this varies between authorities.
To find out more about carers groups and the Family Carers Service or about respite care stays, please contact the Jewish Care Direct helpline on 028 922 2222 or email caringforthem@jcare.org